Midgets, you've been warned...
Very close to where I live there is a lane that leads to some shops. I wander past there on a regular basis and have constantly been intrigued by a series of signs that adorn one of the walls. They must be pretty serious because there is 3 of them, about 15' apart (there were 4 but someone ripped one down)...
I wouldn't normally dribble on about a sign (mmm, actually I might), but these ones befuddle me...
As you can see the sign clearly states "BEWARE ANTI CLIMB PAINT" which, obviously, is a pretty
direct message.
Now what gets me is that this wall is only 1 metre high, if even that. I've included a portion of myself for reference and I'm 5'11 3/4" tall.
(note: not 6 foot tall as much as I'd like to be. Every time that I've been measured I've clocked in 1/4" shy of 6 foot. Now, you could say why don't I just say 6 foot - well that would be a lie wouldn't it, or an exaggeration at best and I'm not prone to exaggeration, verbosity perhaps, but not exaggeration. I've spent a lifetime stating my height correctly, proudly maintaining my integrity and, no doubt, leaving some people thinking that I'm anally retentive - such is the price of your morals eh Cato).
I mean, the wall could provide a challenge to a midget but I don't think even the most diminutive of folk would be terribly troubled by it. So, all in all, it seems to be a pretty aimless sign or, as this case is, a collection of signs.
Having got closer and spent more time beside the sign than I ever have before, it has become clear to me that:
(1) there is no-one climbing it,
(2) there are no signs that anyone ever has climbed it (jumped it perhaps)
(3) there are no midgets nearby (as far as I could tell),
(4) this anti-climb paint does attract more than its fair share of bird-shit.
In fact, there is a tremendous amount of bird-shit on it and, if I know my bird-shit, I suspect that the culprits are seagulls (I live pretty close to the sea as a crow flies or, in this case, some full-bellied seagulls). So, perhaps, the local council could better use their time (& budget) by putting up some signs advising the seagulls that this is not a toilet.
Admittedly, its a long shot as to whether the seagulls are actually going to be able to read it, but, then again, I ain't seen any clans of free-climbing midgets lurking about either. So if they are going to put up signs they might as well keep it real - or surreal if that is their true purpose.
p.s. my neighbours now think I'm a weirdo taking photos of a climbing wall for midgets (hope they don't ask me how tall I am).
I wouldn't normally dribble on about a sign (mmm, actually I might), but these ones befuddle me...
As you can see the sign clearly states "BEWARE ANTI CLIMB PAINT" which, obviously, is a prettydirect message.
Now what gets me is that this wall is only 1 metre high, if even that. I've included a portion of myself for reference and I'm 5'11 3/4" tall.
(note: not 6 foot tall as much as I'd like to be. Every time that I've been measured I've clocked in 1/4" shy of 6 foot. Now, you could say why don't I just say 6 foot - well that would be a lie wouldn't it, or an exaggeration at best and I'm not prone to exaggeration, verbosity perhaps, but not exaggeration. I've spent a lifetime stating my height correctly, proudly maintaining my integrity and, no doubt, leaving some people thinking that I'm anally retentive - such is the price of your morals eh Cato).
I mean, the wall could provide a challenge to a midget but I don't think even the most diminutive of folk would be terribly troubled by it. So, all in all, it seems to be a pretty aimless sign or, as this case is, a collection of signs.
Having got closer and spent more time beside the sign than I ever have before, it has become clear to me that:
(1) there is no-one climbing it,
(2) there are no signs that anyone ever has climbed it (jumped it perhaps)
(3) there are no midgets nearby (as far as I could tell),
(4) this anti-climb paint does attract more than its fair share of bird-shit.
In fact, there is a tremendous amount of bird-shit on it and, if I know my bird-shit, I suspect that the culprits are seagulls (I live pretty close to the sea as a crow flies or, in this case, some full-bellied seagulls). So, perhaps, the local council could better use their time (& budget) by putting up some signs advising the seagulls that this is not a toilet.
Admittedly, its a long shot as to whether the seagulls are actually going to be able to read it, but, then again, I ain't seen any clans of free-climbing midgets lurking about either. So if they are going to put up signs they might as well keep it real - or surreal if that is their true purpose.
p.s. my neighbours now think I'm a weirdo taking photos of a climbing wall for midgets (hope they don't ask me how tall I am).
posted by Captain Fargon at 2:50 am
2 Comments:
I am a vertically challenged seagull - as recently profiled on 'oprah' and demand my rights as such to be respected as such in my rebellion when it comes to pooing on walls.
alrigh?t
I'm very familiar with this lane. I'm pretty sure the anti-climb paint refers to the sloping metal corrugated roof on the other side of the wall, as opposed to the wall itself
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