hitting the ground running...

I'm the kinda guy who is full of great ideas - some more abstract or feasible than others. As times gone on, some of them have been scarring my life for almost 20 years now...

Enthusiastically, in my teens, I thought it would be a great way to commemorate that annual celebration of the 'breath of life' which we all hold onto so dearly, and to go for a run on each of my birthdays. Fantastic idea indeed - full of merit, commendable spirit and a great innovation... and now, many years later, a massive pain in the arse.

Well into my 2nd decade of this hare-brained scheme, it truly has become tiresome. No matter how enthused one may be to get up early on their birthday - and every following birthday - to go for a run, eventually it becomes somewhat annoying. Now I've done the bloody thing for so long, I don't know how to stop it (one year I almost forgot about it until a 'helpful' flatmate offered to come with me on 'the run'. Bastard - even failing memory couldn't help me.). At some point in life i'll eventually be too infirm to do it - and so it will finally end (at which point I'll be dribbling into my tea, reminiscing on all those youthful runs).

I don't really believe in making 'new years' resolutions in the sense that I believe you can make a resolution on any day of the year or, at the least, your own birthday is be a better date to launch into it. But I do have an inspiration to get this year off to a 'flyer'.

In a similar train of thought, was my concern over what to do for this New Years Eve - I had the choice of a party at a mates (with 5 kids under the age of 8), an invite to an unknown party full of over-achievers & snobbery (I suspected anyway, perhaps incorrectly) or a street party of 180.000 (which I've done a tonne of times). Alternatively, I was thinking - how cool to work! Not 'cool', per se, but what a stirling effort for my business and a dedicated start to the new year.

As the time drew closer the situation evolved yet again. With this latest update, 4 of the 5 children have been executed (well, shipped of to various Grannies), the snobby party is now a dinner party and an 'on the guest list' setup for a nightclub and it is now raining outside, hence the street party will be 180,000 wet / cold / drunk people)...

Earlier this morning though...

With all these thoughts in mind I had devised a cunning way to get the year off to a good start but still manage to sneak a few 100 drinks in as well. Having been born on the other side of the planet, I have regular occasion to celebrate certain events twice in one day or to extend celebrations over a 2-day period (it's a very flexible and convenient system that I use).

So I figured that if I got up early today (new years eve) I could be out there running as the bells tolled in the Antipodes. Good plan, except that I have only managed 2 other runs in the last 3 months (and am pretty staggeringly unfit). Like I said, you cannae beat a good idea - so I signed the dotted line last night and made my preparations.

I was awoken by txt msg's from around the planet this morning and then crawled out to get on with this latest charade. It had been so long, I could not find my running gear but finally, through blurry eyes and shivering bones, I got it all together. Minutes later and I'm double-tying my running shoes and, then, looking for my MiniDisc player.

As I leaned over for the shelf for my walkman I feel my pants were a bit tight and ill-fitting at the hem, to which I naturally thought "I know its been a while since I have been for a run, but I haven't put on that much weight - have I?". Looking down to assess the situation I begin to pull at the front of my pants, only to discover the manufacturing tag proudly looking at me. Nice one - they're on back to front and I've got fully double-knotted shoes on...

For a minute, I must admit, I thought 'bugger it - just go anyway' and then I thought what a great start to the year that is - going for the Herculian run on New Years Eve with my pants on back to front (if that doesn't set the pattern for the year nothing can)!

3 minutes later and the problem was resolved, next on the schedule was a pee. Deciding to sit down for the effort (I was fiddling with my stopwatch at the time and needed more limbs), after a moment or two I realised that I could see the floor of the bathroom through the crotch seam of my running pants. For gawd's sake, now I've blown my pants with my fat arse. Nice one...

I really considered going back to bed but I'd come this far and decided to press on with it... at least I can certainly say I hit the ground running for 2006...